Can I Be Very Transparent?

If you have known me for more than a month, you probably know me pretty well. I tend to be the type of person, that in my effort to be honest and open, may sometimes share more than you want to know. This can be both good and bad! :) But since moving to Texas I think I have been a bit guarded....believe me when I say not on purpose. It is so incredibly painful to leave a place that you love, where you have poured your heart and soul into people and winning the lost. Ministry is such a different kind of "job" because it's so very personal and relational. Each time God has called me to a new place, there has been a grieving process in the transition. I don't fully understand why, but this last move was especially hard and so when I came to this new place I may have had a shield before me that was certainly not intentional.

The past couple of weeks, I have been so renewed with what the Lord is doing in my life and in this new place where I am serving my Jesus. The shield is down and I feel like I have set aside a huge weight. I am feeling more like myself, the real me with all the good, bad and ugly sides we all deal with. I am so encouraged and loved by my new friends and team mates. I am full of ideas that stir my every waking thought. I have to tell myself not to get ahead of God's timing when I think of all the possibilities and open doors laid before me. I feel a new purpose in my call and additional confirmation about being in Texas. I see that past hurts cannot cloud my new vision of what God needs me to do here or allow them to stand in the way of Him moving in me and through me. I have avoided blogging for a bit because I just couldn't put out in cyberspace the raw things I have felt. Healing comes in many forms; through time, through people, but most assuredly through time with Jesus and His people. Healing comes when we trust...if we just trust Him enough to obey what we know He is telling us to do, then put one foot in front of the other and keep looking straight towards Him, soon we are not dragging our feet or tripping along but we are running in His direction.

My heart must be made up of multiple chambers. I still have every child I ever ministered to tucked away in a special place and now I have a new chamber that is already filling up with some very special kids in Texas. I'm so thankful and in awe that I get to do what I do. I'm thankful for seasons in our lives, even the tough ones because we always come out stronger and with more anointing when we are careful to give Him the glory, no matter what!