Sickness and Disappointment

It has been a tough week for me. I have been pretty sick since Wednesday morning. I'm not quite sure what is going on in my body but I am wanting to be over it! I got up Thursday and felt a little better and had a big networking meeting to be at so decided to go ahead and attend. It's something I really enjoy and am one of the leaders so I hated to miss. By the time I finished that 2 hour meeting and ran an errand, I was developing a migraine. This is a new thing in my life within the last few months. After 2 doses of migraine meds and a desperate phone call to my doctor, Randy took me to the ER late Thursday night. I was praying for death! Seriously, I had the thought that I was ready for Jesus to take me Home. After 2 1/2 hours, a badly administered IV and 2 different kinds of drugs, the migraine was under control and they sent me home.

I got up Friday morning feeling half way decent and was to be at a Women in Ministry Luncheon that was held for the conference I was speaking at this weekend. I should have listened to Dara who advised me to stay home but thought I would be okay. By the time I was there an hour, I was feeling very ill. I had to leave early and got progressively sicker as the day went on. Finally at 10:45 Friday night, it was apparent that I was NOT going to be able to speak at the conference and had to make the difficult phone call to cancel. I am so disappointed! This is something I have been looking forward to for months! I HATE to inconvenience people when they are counting on me but I know I need to take care of myself.

I guess this rant is to say that I know God is teaching me some things through this. He is all up in my grill! (Gotta try to keep my humor!) My husband and pastor have been on my tail about taking time off and obviously the Big Guy is showing me the same. I keep saying I'm gonna take a day off and it never seems to happen. I use the excuse of taking part of a day off, but it's just not the same. Pray I can get this through my thick head. It's only me who pushes, not Pastor Josh, not my family, not my friends....only me. I feel such an urgency to reach people for the Lord but must not be stupid about my health! I feel so incredibly privileged to be the children's pastor at JCFC and there are always so many things to do, I just need about 8 more hours in a day! :)